"If you really want to enslave people, tell them that you're going to give them total freedom."

-- L. Ron Hubbard

boinboing reports: "Wednesday's edition of South Park tackles Scientology, in the typically oblique fashion fans of the show know and dig. But what's particularly interesting about the episode titled 'Trapped in the Closet' is that show producers tapped Mark Ebner for script consultation.

The Hollywood journo and celebrity-dirt-digger wrote this legendary Spy magazine article on Scientology from 1996, which began:

I am an ex-drug addict who has solicited prostitutes in my day. I've also masturbated and inhaled at the same time, and I have been arrested more than once in my life. I dropped out of high school, and I've been under psychiatric care. Oh yeah, and I owe the IRS roughly six thousand dollars that they are well aware of.

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